April 20th, 2005
|04:59 pm - what the hell is 420?|
i need a hobby. i need some way to busy myself while sit here in my house and do nothing. i can play mech warrior, but i am stuck on this lame level. besides, playing video games all day makes me realize i need a hobby even more.
someone come and rescue me. i am so bored.
p.s. the smoothie was quite nice, liz. however, i simply really did forget to call you. i am sorry...
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: showbread-so selfish it's funny
April 19th, 2005
so alex doesn't dislike me?
i am overly happy about this. i didn't think i would care if he didn't like me at all, but deep down it was eating at me. being able to talk to him last night felt like a huge void was filled.
it's great being able to have conversations, and good conversations with someone that a few weeks before you were pretty sure you hated. i feel like i am becoming a more likable person. hopefully, i am...
school is almost over which means that summer is almost here. this summer is going to be my best summer yet! i will make sure of this. to start, i am going to san diego in the beginning of june. then i plan on going to chicago a lot this summer. go to a lot of shows. go to the warped tour, maybe both chicago and detroit. visit a certain someone in kzoo cause he rocks! get a new piercing or tattoo?????
summer '05 will rock for sure though.
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: boys night out-the first time it shouldn't taste like blood
April 16th, 2005
|04:59 pm - this is me, starting over|
i decided i am not going to worry about what other people think about me anymore. i figure if they are going to dislike me for little petty things i am better off without them. they must be unhappy about some flaw of their own that makes them so quick to judge and give the cold shoulder. maybe they don't like their body, their teeth, their complexion. how knows...
all i know is that i am done worrying about who likes me or dislikes me, and i am done tyring to fix the broken friendships that i have. if what i say and what i do aren't good enough for them, that's too bad.
so fuck off....
i could give a shit less if i missed something important to you, you always seem to find some excuse to miss something important to me.
"no seth, i don't like your friends(even though i don't know them)."
so i am going to see the starting line tonight with friends that actually like me for who i am. it'll be great fun....i hope...
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: the get up kids-stay gold, ponyboy
|02:50 am - msu: where tools can be tools, and whores can be whores|
that is all that can explain the feeling i have right now. i feel like i am standing at the end of a long corridor and the only exit is at the other end, made evident by a bright green 'exit' sign. i keep running down this hallway, but the exit never gets closer. despite all the distance i have covered i keep going and going until it feels as if i have gotten no where. i hate it.
this is my experiences at msu.
i will never come this way again....
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: rilo kiley-a better son/daughter
April 13th, 2005
|11:18 pm - the last time i saw you it was...|
i need new hobbies. i need a new wardrobe. i need some new friends. i need a lot of shit that i don't have right now. shittiness...
ok, maybe i don't need these, maybe i just want them.
i miss some of my friends who have recently given me the cold shoulder. if it's even a cold shoulder. it's more like they have ostracized me from their lives. maybe they are too good for me? too good to even return my calls or respond to letters i have written. maybe...
i apologize for a lot of shit, yet it seems to not be heard.
yesterday, while driving down the express way, becca's car died. the entire car except for the cd player blasting out greenday shut down. we kind of just coasted to the side of the road where we had to jump a barbed wire fence to get to a place to call someone to come and get us. it was craziness! too much bad shit has been happening to me and my friends. i hate it...
farewell to 236 wellington.
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: saves the day- this is not an exit
March 27th, 2005
|01:03 pm - i hate this city|
the last few days have been quite some crazy fun. i think i may have smoked myself silly and retarded. it's ok though. i still haven't found a job yet which totally sucks ass. actually, i kind of have a job. my friend jessie's mom wants me to clean her house for her for like $10/hour. as soon as i start i will be overly happy. i will have to talk to her tomorrow. rent is almost due...
so i now have a new roommate, carl. he seems way cool and i am uber happy to have another person living in the house. maybe now i won't feel like i have to be so careful about everything i do and say in the house.
today is easter. i could care less. i have always hated easter. the color scheme, the candy, the bunnies and baby chicks, and the gross yellow and black jellybeans. bleh
so...did jesus die or rise from the dead today?
my grandma just told me, "black pants are for the birds."
what the fuck....
Current Mood: content
Current Music: every time i die-punch-drunk punk rock romance
March 14th, 2005
|11:09 am - i need you so much closer|
everything is peachy. my life, my relationships, my money situation. or is it...
i miss my friends that i haven't seen in a while and friends that i will not see for a long long time. i cherish my new found friendships and i cherish those that are closer to me than others are. i actually love everyone i come into contact with. haha
so my mission is to make a certain someone dislike me so much that she wants to leave the house we live in together. i know i can do it. it'll just take some time. i'll have to get under her skin and stay there.
i wanna be the thorn in her side.
practice what you preach, it'll do you some good.
i am bored and ready to go have some fun......
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: mewithoutyou-torches together
February 28th, 2005
|11:39 am - i'll get another head, and get on with my life|
i can't believe how emo i am. i am so damn emo all i can do is listen to my dashboard cds all day and cry about how no girls will ever love me cause i am a creep. today i wrote a poem for the girl that tore my heart into a thousand pieces and then burned the remains. it's kind of cliche, but hey, so am i.
i usually spend my weekends alone, locked up in my room with only a bottle of booze to keep me company. that is how emo i am. i am even emo enough that i slowly strum my acoustic guitar to my dashboard cds, and afterwards cry cause i wasn't lucky enough to write them myself.
my god, i am so fucking emo.
(this is slightly sarcastic)
i hate the snow, yet that is all that it seems to do. snow and snow and snow some more.
so everyone should come to my house warming party this friday. it's gonna be the best party 236 wellington has ever seen. haha
Current Mood: satisfied
Current Music: thursday-paris in flames
February 27th, 2005
|08:43 pm - how about this?|
so it's been quite some time since i have posted anything in this. it's kind of funny considering i used be hopelessly devoted to my lj. haha
a lot has happened. a lot, i guess. i have met a lot of new people and made some remarkable friends. i have learned my lesson about drinking in excess (it's about time), and am also moving into the great city of grand rapids. it's going to be awesome.
last friday was not so great. i ended up getting stranded at a party while being completely oblivious to everything going on and drunk off my ass. LAME
the person throwing the party got way drunk and kicked everyone out and my ride left. dammit.
i ended up walking to a corner store and found a ride back to the 75 and passed out there and being sick. i even caught a cold while walking through the winter wasteland of the downtown area in only a sweater.
god, friday was dumb.
Current Mood: sick
December 27th, 2004
|03:10 pm - at least I know where my sympathies lie|
I always wanted something beyond four letters. Always. I once had it but it's gone and I regret it totally. At the same time, I know that there is more out there for me and that I can meet anyone and do anything I want to now. Hopefully without any regrets.
I think I am getting sick, and it is making me sad. I want to be able to party all night on new year's eve, and I keep thinking about it and it makes me soooo excited. But not if I'm sick....
I feel like I am getting myself into another bad situation. One of those that has plagued me for the past two years. One of those that tears me apart while the cause of the situation goes on with their happy routine of life. I want to avoid it so bad, but at the same time my emotions tell me to go for it.....crazy....
Leaving your past behind isn't the best thing to do. I always thought how easy it would be for me to run away from all my sadness and trouble, but now I have seen where has gotten sopme people. Almost nowhere. And when they decide to leave where they are now, where are they going to turn to?
If you need anything at all, I'm still here.....
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: sorry about dresden